Showing love should be a daily occurrence.
They say, “choose your spouse every day.” It’s a romantic notion that many great relationships believe in.
However, Studio 5 Contributor Heather Johnson suggested taking it a step further. She emphasized that while the choice to marry is made once, the commitment to show love and dedication should be a daily practice.
The Shift from Choosing to Showing
Heather explained the importance of shifting from the idea of choosing your spouse daily to showing your commitment every day. She stated, “We made that choice a long, long time ago. We made that choice when we decided to marry them.” Instead of questioning whether to choose your spouse each day, focus on how to demonstrate your commitment.
Protecting Insecurities
One of the key ways to show commitment is by protecting your spouse’s insecurities. Heather highlighted the importance of understanding and respecting your partner’s vulnerabilities. “It’s no different than if someone is terrified of snakes. The last thing you would do is post pictures of snakes all over their bedroom.” By being mindful of your spouse’s insecurities, you build trust and emotional safety.
Giving the Benefit of the Doubt
Heather advised always giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt. This means assuming they are doing their best and would never intentionally hurt you. “When we offer someone the benefit of the doubt, that is what we can do so that we can keep ourselves in check”. When you give your partner the benefit of the doubt, you show up as the best version of yourself and it allows your partner to do the same. This approach helps maintain a healthy and supportive relationship.
Managing Your Emotions
Instead of trying to manage your spouse’s emotions, focus on managing your own. Heather suggested doing your own mental work first and ensuring that your actions and words are supportive. Heather said to prioritize patience. “Patience is when we decide and work through, when everything’s hard, how am I going to think and show up?”
Communicating Without a Need
Effective communication is crucial in a marriage. Heather recommended communicating without always expressing needs or logistical concerns. Instead, focus on understanding and attending to your spouse’s feelings. “Imagine if our communication every day had a lot more to do with hearing them, and then attending to what’s going on and how that might make them feel.” Rather than a list of “do this” and “be that’s,” communicate without needing anything in return.
Being a Partner with an Opinion
Lastly, Heather encouraged spouses to share their opinions and contribute to the relationship. “Our spouses are looking for us to have an opinion. They married us because they believe, in so many ways, we have thoughts and ideas and can contribute.” Sharing your thoughts and ideas fosters a sense of partnership and support.
To contact Heather for counseling, email blog.familyvolley@gmail.com, or visit www.familyvolley.blogspot.com.
I watched this segment while studying scriptures and I can see how I want to apply this to my relationship with God. Communicating without needs. Pray to know God’s will and how I am in his sight. Showing my commitment daily. Waiting on the Lord. When I don’t feel connected, how I will continue to show up. I will not doubt the love, the plan, the hope.