Managing the Differences: When You & Your Spouse Have Different Styles

Studio 5 Relationship Coach Matt Townsend helps couples manage their differences.

To Decide . . . Choose a Side

When you and your partner can’t decide whose opinion gets the priority, then one of the fastest, easiest ways to make the decision is to make it random. When we can’t communicate through our differences, then the next, easiest way to decide is to flip a coin. Random selection allows fate to take its course instead of whoever makes the best argument.

• Flip a coin

• Guess a number.

• Ask a neutral third party to make a decision without interference.

If They Care . . . Make it Fair.

When it comes right down to it many partners don’t even really notice, let alone disagree with your choices. The rule is if they do care, then make it fair. So if you’re married to a partner that actually has preferences, then I would find ways to make it fair and equal for both of you.

• Maybe he chooses the color, you chose the room style.

• You get a room to decorate, he chooses the furniture.

• You each get a room or space to decorate your way.

• You get to decorate and he gets something that is his style in every room.

Whoever Cares the Most . . . is the Host

Sometimes you notice that one of you cares more than the other on some things. So one way I’ve found to make decisions with my wife is to see how important the decision really is for her. Whoever feels the strongest about the issue owns it and leads the decisions. The host still listens to others input, but in the end the decisions of what goes on is in the hands of the host.

• So ask your partner, on a scale from 1 to 10, how important is it to you?

-You must be honest about your scores (you can’t always be a 10).

-Whoever has the highest score gets to be in charge.

-Rotate turns after that.

Matt Townsend is a national speaker and relationship expert who uses his unique gift of understanding relationships to help individuals, couples and families learn the skills they need to better relate. Through entertainment and humor he teaches life-changing principles and skills empowering couples to change by learning to communicate more effectively, to stop patterns of negative reactions, and to get to the heart of important issues.

For more couple advice from Matt, attend:

An Evening with Matt Townsend

Saturday, October 10

7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.

$20 per Couple

Location: Noah’s in South Jordan

To register call (801)747-2121

For more information, visit:

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