support a friend - women hugging
Adobe Stock

‘The more you give, the less you need.’ Support a friend in hard times in 4 special ways

These simple ways to support a friend let them know you’re there for them.

A good friend supports her friends in good times, but especially the bad. However, it’s not always easy to know exactly how to support a friend when they are going through something hard.

Kelly Jensen shares specific ways to help a friend who needs extra support.


Be the Support You Wish to Have

If you don’t have a support system or wish someone would do these things for you, Kelly advises being the one who does it.

“I have found in my life that if I’m ever feeling lonely, if I’m feeling uninvited, the more I give other people grace and the more I serve them, the less I need myself,” Kelly advised.

The more you give, the less you need. Serving binds up the hole of loneliness.

The Power of Food

Never underestimate the power of food. When you’re feeling down, dealing with a surgery, or have lost a loved one, not having to make dinner for your family is such a blessing.

When Kelly had family come to stay after the loss of a loved one, a friend brought her a crockpot of soup to feed them all.

“It fed every single person to their fill. We all stayed there together and we didn’t have to order out,” Kelly said.

Another friend put together a sandwich basket that included everything you would need to make multiple types of sandwiches. The bread, the meats and cheeses, even the utensils and paper products.

“In a time that was very tender, it was such a gift to not have to think about anything else,” Kelly said.

She also likes the idea of a basket of fruits and veggies.

“When you’re in a down time, sometimes just health feels really good,” Kelly emphasized.

Write It Out

When you’re feeling down, a good friend feels like a whispering of strength. Kelly shared how her friends left literal love on her door, reminding her that there are people who love her and they’re there for her.

“Everybody’s done and seen a door heart attack, but it’s just a wonderful way to remind people of the connection that they have to you, and that they are there if you need them,” Kelly said.

Part of writing it out is that you can go and reread it and feel the love all over again.

Tokens of Love

Tokens of love can be any little gift, like flowers or baked bread. Kelly shared how when her 10-year-old’s bunny died, one of her little friends printed out a picture of her with her bunny and left it on her doorstep with a note.

“How easy is that? When someone loses a loved one and we have a picture of them on our phone with that loved one, and you just leave that printed photo with a frame,” Kelly said.

Another thoughtful gift can be a plant, which can be a long-lasting reminder of friendship.

“If you’re going to drop off a plant, make sure it’s hardy… make sure it’s hard to kill. It’s got to be something like a succulent,” Kelly suggested.

The Power of a Hug

Never underestimate the power of a hug. Connection is everything in hard moments. It’s a soft place to land and a reminder of love. Kelly shared how her husband helped her through a rough time by tethering himself to her, letting her know that he was there for her.

“All of these little ways that we’ve talked about are ways we can tether ourselves to our friends. Not try to control the situation, not have expectations… but just let them know that we’re there,” Kelly said.

Being a good friend means being there for your friends and being ready to help whenever they need it. It’s about seeing them, showing love, and just being there while they be themselves.

“There’s such power in those actions and strokes of love,” Kelly emphasized.

Find more inspiration from Kelly on Instagram, @kellyejensen.

Add comment