When your happy and sad, excited and overwhelmed, feel both emotions.
You know those moments when you aren’t sure if you should laugh or cry? Well, maybe you just need to do both.
Therapist Crystal Stewart says it’s normal to feel two emotions at once, even though we often find ourselves wanting to pick one or the other. She gave us permission to feel it all.
The Multifaceted Nature of Human Emotions
Crystal explained that we are multifaceted humans with many different emotions, and it’s normal to feel lots of things at once.
She gave an example, “Let’s say you got a new job, and you feel like you should be happy, but you’re feeling so overwhelmed,” This scenario perfectly illustrates how we can experience excitement and overwhelm simultaneously.
Unhelpful Thinking Patterns
Crystal pointed out that we all fall into unhelpful thinking patterns at times.
She explained, “Usually if we’re thinking something’s off or wrong, then we could fall into the idea that everything is terrible.” This kind of black and white thinking, catastrophizing, or minimizing can create a skewed idea of what’s happening.
Crystal encouraged us to accept that two things can be true at the same time.
She gave an example of feeling grateful and resentful at once, “I think a lot of parents probably feel this way. You’re so grateful for your kids and you love them so much, but you resent the pressures of parenthood sometimes.”
When asked whether or not we should lean into the positive emotions, Crystal warned against dismissing the negative ones.
She explained, “Sometimes it can be problematic because then we’re shoving away a part of ourselves.”
The Balance of Emotions
Crystal emphasized the importance of finding a unique balance and making room for others’ experiences while giving ourselves grace. She used the analogy of a star being formed:
“When a star is formed, it has to go through this tug of war between gravity and fusion. It needs both. If there’s too much gravity, the star will implode. If there’s too much fusion, the star will explode. So it goes through this back and forth until it can create a balanced state. We’re a lot the same way. Sometimes in our lives there’s going to be moments when we have to really push through something that’s challenging even when we’re tired. Other times we need to be more intentional about our self-care and our rest.”
This conversation with Crystal was a reminder that our emotions are complex and multifaceted. It’s okay to feel two emotions at once, and it’s normal if our feelings conflict with what we think we should be feeling. By understanding and accepting our emotions, we can navigate life’s challenges with more grace and understanding.
Connect with Crystal at thehealinggroup.com.
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