Questions That Will Deepen Your Relationship

Studio 5 Relationship Coach Matt Townsend reveals 4 questions that can lead to a deeper relationship.

As you may know, when an airplane flies from point A to point B it usually doesn’t fly in a straight line because it has to fly in the air currents. That means that most airplanes are off course, most of the time. The way that the pilot keeps the airplane on course is that he or she keeps connected to where they are in the flight and the goal of where they want to end up. They then make adjustments to make sure that the airplane stays on course.

The same is true in our relationships. If we want to make sure that we make it to our final destination together, we have to keep a focused vision of where we are presently in the relationship and where we want to go in the relationship. The best way I’ve found to make sure that happens is to run through four basic questions to help keep you focused. These questions are best asked to yourself not to your partner. Asking your partner questions in times of difficulty or stress usually tends to create more issues than it solves. These questions are used to create personal insight and direction. I call these four questions the Four Lights because by asking ourselves these questions we will begin to illuminate our relationship and we will see much more quickly what we should do to be more successful in our relationships.

The next time you see signs that your relationship may be off course, for instance, when your partner is angry at you or you have a misunderstanding, run through the Four Lights and come up with something you can do to readjust your course and align your actions with your goals and vision of your relationship.

Four Lights

1. Self Awareness– What part of the problems am I?

2. Empathy– What are the needs and wants of my partner? What is it like to be married to me?

3. Vision– What do we want most together?

4. Conscience– What is the most important thing I can do today, to positively impact my relationship?

You can contact Matt at and you can attend Matt’s next Date Night:

An Evening with Matt Townsend

Saturday, November 14

7:00 pm to 9:00 pm

$20 per couple

Location: Noah’s in South Jordan

To register call 801-747-2121

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