Feeling a little overwhelmed with everything that is on your plate? You might need to set yourself some better boundaries. Boundaries are limits about what we can and can’t do, what we allow and don’t allow. Boundary skills start in our families of origin. What we learn there feels right and comfortable – so we tend to recreate childhood boundaries in our adult lives. But that’s not always healthy or helpful. Healthy boundaries are the space we need to be ourselves, and treat others, and ourselves, with autonomy, respect, and trust. They keep us safe physically and emotionally. We set them every day in big and small ways-
“I don’t drive without my seat belt.”
“I can come over at noon, but not any earlier.”
Everyone struggles with some type of boundary. Reva Cook shared her expertise on this topic, and recommended the following books. They are her best suggestions for reads that will help you build better boundaries.
Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend
If you find yourself saying “yes” to everything, your life might start spiraling out of control. Setting boundaries can help you regain that control, and this book will help you do it. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you know when you should say yes, but also how to say no, to set healthy boundaries and make your life better.
Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine
Boundaries are important to our physical and mental health. If you’ve ever walked away from a meeting or conversation feeling violated, but not known why, this book can help you discover how boundaries are an essential part of a balanced life. Stories from the real world help illustrate the negatives from not having set limits, and the strong benefits of respecting ours, and others, boundaries.
The Assertiveness Guide for Women by Julie de Azevedo Hanks
Many women have a hard time being assertive, and this book aims to change that. When we’re not assertive, we can end up not speaking up when our needs aren’t being met. And when we do speak up, we can lash out in hurtful ways. Assertiveness can help you set healthy boundaries, which will help you live a more fulfilling life.
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