This week on Studio 5, we are signing up for a little sensitivity training – each
day trying to gain perspective on a difficult life situation we could respond
better to, from the outside looking in. Today’s topic: weight woes. How can
you better react, respond and support a family member or friend who
struggles with the scale?
Former Biggest Loser Contestant Heather Hansen, and Relationship Coach
Matt Townsend, share their perspective, advice and experience.
Focus on where they shine!
With any human being who has an obvious difference we tend to become
focused on the parts of them that are different, broken, or distinct. That is
human nature. The problem with this approach to life is that we begin to see
the other person not as someone who is whole and complete, but instead as
someone who is broken. We see them as their label or their obvious
difference and not the other beautiful contributions they make to society,
family and our life. Focus on the whole person; identify what they offer to the
world that brings light to your life. Point out what you love about them and
highlight their good qualities, traits, characteristics and how they make you
feel. Usually, when we focus on what is good, we tend to see more of it in
them. The more we identify their wonderful traits, the more likely we are to
see more of the positive traits.
Remember that there are many kinds of “Healthy”
I’m amazed when people come to me exposing the sins, failures, flaws or
inadequacies of another. In my experience the concept of what makes
someone healthy is a very subjective one. One person can be physically fit
and yet simultaneously an emotional basket case. Some people can be
financial strong and yet spiritually or morally corrupt. In order to discuss the
concept of “healthy” with someone who may be gaining weight, be sure that
your concept of “healthy” includes all facets of life including physical,
spiritual, emotional, mental and financial well being. To judge a person in
one area of health when you are lacking in other areas of health is
hypocritical. Strive to be healthy in all regards and when you are, you’ll have
more power with others to help them get healthy.
Look them in the eyes!
The eyes are the window to the soul. Many times when I work with people
who are different from the norms of the world, they tend to feel discounted,
overlooked or irrelevant. One of the greatest keys to be both influenced and
to influence another is to recognize their essence and not their soul. Look
deep into their heart and see the incredible essence that is deep inside them.
People are not what they appear to be on the outside. There is a powerful
essence that resides inside the soul of another being and one of the fastest
ways to get to that soul is to connect eye to eye.