Here’s how to be an intentional woman.
Every few years, a new buzzword emerges that encapsulates what we’re seeking or craving.
In the past, we’ve seen words like “balance” and “authenticity” dominate our conversations. But now, a new word is starting to emerge in our conversations, in our books, and in our podcasts.
The word is “intention.” It signifies something that is done on purpose or deliberately. Women have a desire to lead a more intentional life, and we want to help you chase it and choose it.
Here’s what our experts say about living intentionally:
What it Means to Live with Intention
Studio 5 Relationship Contributor Dr. Matt Townsend started the conversation by offering a general overview: what does it mean to live with intention? Matt said it looks like facing your fears, “I want you to stop being the victim and start saying, ‘I’m now in charge!”
He wants you to lean into your challenges and see hardship as an invitation for growth. “Step into it, learn more, dig deeper,” Matt said, “and eventually you come out the other side of the mountain not challenged anymore.”
The bottom line? Matt believes it’s all about your relationships:
“There is nothing that will matter more to a human being in the end than relationships. Your relationship with yourself, your relationship with others, and your relationship with God. So, if you’re going to create any intentionality, make sure it’s around deeper connection to other people.”
The Intentional Friend
It’s the friends who remember and the friends who notice. It’s the girlfriends who follow up and encourage. “Being intentional just means you’re thinking ahead,” Studio 5 Contributor Kelly Jensen said.
Kelly claims that the intentional friend gets organized. But it’s not about having a tidy desk or clean home. It’s about planning ahead, setting reminders for important dates, and making an effort to reach out.
It’s the ultimate good friend move, and it’s a habit Kelly has mastered. She explained, “Your friend might have a big presentation. Put an alarm in your phone to remind you, and the night before you can reach out and say, ‘I know you’re going to kill it.”
The intentional friend also sets a day for friendship. “If we can set, say, Thursday as your friend day,” Kelly went on to explain, “and you take a little time, every Thursday to drop something off to a friend. Or you send some texts. Or you check in. Or you take time to organize your phone with important dates.” By dedicating a specific day to friendship, we can ensure that we are making time for the people who matter most to us.
But the #1 thing an intentional friend does? They just ask.
“How can I be a better friend to you? What do you need when you have hard things happen? Do you need to be alone? Or do you want me to crawl into bed with you and watch a chick flick and eat ice cream? What is the best thing I can do to make you feel loved? Just ask,” Kelly emphasized.
The Intentional Mom
Intentionality in parenting “…means that we take the time to decide where we want to end up in our parenting. What type of relationships we want to have long term. So, it’s end goal first,” said Studio 5 Parenting Contributor Heather Johnson.
Heather said the intentional parent sees, loves, and acts with intention.
Sees: “An intentional parent sees a child as a person, not as an object,” Heather said, “They don’t see their kids as being in the way. They see them as having hopes and dreams, good days and bad days, and strengths and weaknesses just like we do.”
Loves: Heather said loving with intention means never withholding love, regardless of what our children do or what kind of day we’re having. It also looks like offering empathy.
“Empathy and love are connected. When we’re empathetic towards them, we’re loving them,” Heather explained. This requires us to put ourselves in a position where we look and we say, “I’m going to be very intentional with the empathy that I offer you, which means I’m not going to judge. I am just going to wrap my arms around you and love you.”
Acts: If you do one thing, Heather hopes it’s this: set aside time every day to connect with your children one on one. And remember, “Acting with intention means we’re infusing meaning into everything. Everything we can possibly get our hands on.”
The Intentional Wife
In an intentional marriage, Studio 5 Marriage & Family Contributor Dr. Liz Hale says we do things that matter, purposefully, to make our marriage as strong and healthy as possible.
“Most men don’t fret about the state of their marriage unless something is clearly wrong”, Liz claimed. Women, on the other hand, tend to see marriage as requiring more emphasis and maintenance. So, as women, let’s lead with our strengths and do what we do best.
The intentional wife intentionally chooses happiness. “It turns out that the adage, ‘happy wife, happy life,’ has research to support it coming out of the Institute for Family Studies,” Liz explained, “In a study of 722 seasoned couples, a happy wife has a very strong and positive impact on a husband’s happiness. There wasn’t as strong of a correlation the other way around.”
Bottomline: A woman’s happiness is key to a marriage and key to a man and key to us, so let’s get happy! Liz wants you to do three intentional things every day that bring you enjoyment.
She also wants you to be intentionally appreciative. “The most common complaint I hear from men is, ‘My wife doesn’t appreciate the things I do’. Intentional gratitude has magical powers.”
Every day, look for three things to intentionally express gratitude to your husband for- from taking out the garbage, to pouring you an orange juice, to working hard to support the family. “You will have trained yourself to intentionally see more and more of what is working and less and less of what isn’t”, Liz said.
The Intentional Nana
If you want to be a present grandma, an involved grandma, a genuine and service-oriented grandma, be intentional.
“Nanas are the gatekeepers. They’re the matriarchs. They’ve got this ability to reach into hearts in a very unique and special way,” said Studio 5 Contributor Mary Jo Bell.
To be an intentional grandparent, Mary Jo encouraged us to leave “legacy statements”.
“Life is the flicker of a candle.” This short statement from a grandparent stuck with Mary Jo and impacted her for decades. It made her realize that life is short and needs to be lived with intentionality.
Nanas can leave their grandchildren with “golden words” that sink into their hearts. These can be testimonies of faith, philosophical statements, or even poems. These are words and phrases that will be associated with them, years after they pass.
Mary Jo has her own legacy statement. Anytime her grandkids leave her home, she recites this poem with them: “My Nana has to go away, but she’ll be back most any day. At any moment I may see my Nana coming back to me.”
What will your legacy statement be?
Live Intentionally
Whether it’s in relationships, friendships, parenting, marriage, or grandparenting, living intentionally allows us to take charge, plan ahead, and infuse meaning into our actions. It’s about seeing, loving, and acting with purpose. It’s about choosing happiness, expressing gratitude, and leaving a lasting legacy. As women, we have the power to shape our lives and the lives of those around us through intentional living.
Life isn’t just about existing. It’s about living deliberately and purposefully.
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