Dateless to Dazzling: Playing the Dating Game

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Utah’s Dating Coach, Alisa Goodwin Snell says you can’t win if you’re not in the game.

You can’t win if you aren’t in the game. And like it or not, it really is best to view dating as a game, so what are the rules of the game? Utah’s Dating Coach, Alisa Goodwin Snell shares the rules from her “official playbook” Dating Game Secrets for Marrying a Good Man.

Rules of the Game:

1. You can’t win if you are not in the game. In order to succeed at the dating game, you must venture onto the field and this means putting yourself where other singles are.

2. Be safe. Avoid unnecessary risks. There are many serious dangers that need to be avoided in the dating game. Always remember to play safe.

3. Tackles are against the rules. Tackles represent abuse and manipulation. Avoid tackles from others, and never tackle others.

4. To play, you have to pass the ball. The ball represents active participation in this process which can include anything from flirting and eye contact to taking risks.

5. A date involves a man, a woman, and a ball. Only when the ball is kept in motion between two players is the game fun and rewarding.

6. Anyone can drop the ball at any time. Just when the ball gets going and progress can be seen, you or the other person can drop it without a word. Although this hurts the one left high and dry, it is both players’ right and privilege to do so at any time. Every player is responsible for the quality of their life and knows best what they are looking for and need. When the ball drops, it is important to maintain your faith.

7. It takes a man, a woman, and a ball to get into the final stretch. The longer you keep the ball in motion with one particular player, the more likely you may partner up and venture into the final stretch of the game. As important as it is to get to the final goal, it is more important to be confident about the partner you bring with you.

8. The game doesn’t end until you reach the final goal. Marriage is the final goal of the dating game, but it is not the end of all trials. Nonetheless, when two emotionally mature people make the committed decision to choose their love and love their choice, knowing the challenges and trials they may face in marriage, the outcome is likely to synergistically make both individuals become more together than they could have been if they were apart.

(From Dating Game Secrets for Marrying a Good Man by Alisa Goodwin Snell; published by Bonneville Books)

Alisa Goodwin Snell is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Visit her website at for more great dating advice.

Alisa is holding a singles workshop on Saturday, October 18th at the downtown SLC Library from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Cost is $135 and more information is available on her website.

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