If you’re not seeing change in your life, you might be holding yourself back.
Mistakes, setbacks, judgement – there are a thousand things keeping you from making changes in your life. You have the ability to be the creative force to make things happen.
Speaker Hank Smith says what is really holding you back from your dreams, is you. If you’re holding yourself back, there are a few things you can do to become the creative force in your own life.
Find more insight from Hank at hankspeaks.com.
3 Ways to Stop Holding Yourself Back
“There comes a point when you realize if your life is going to change, you have to be your own source of energy and courage…You are the creative force of your life”
In my work I’ve tried to help others see the power of just getting started in what they dream will happen. I try to help people connect their actions to their thinking. For example, if you say to yourself “I would love to change this about my life” or “accomplish this goal” or “build this relationship,” I want you to see that you are the key player in getting started. The move from dreaming and wishing and thinking is in you deciding to act. We often believe there is a going to be a better moment to get started or we think “as soon as this or that happens then I’ll get started.” We put off action. You become your own source of energy and courage when you decide to convert your wishes into actions. You’ll learn a lot more when you are moving forward and acting then if you spend years or decades waiting for someone else to push you or waiting for a better situation.
Discouragement is often a result of worrying what others think. However, if you try to avoid being governed by other people’s opinions that type of discouragement will fade. Nobody likes to fail in front of others. We introduce shame into our lives when we focus on what others may think. However, those I’ve seen accomplished their goals, move forward despite that fear of public failure. Why? They realize that other people are not thinking about them as they thought. They realize that if someone is judging or condemning them, that is an issue with that person. They don’t see life or goals as a competition with others. They realize that not every opinion they hear should hold the same value. They give more credit to the opinions of those they trust and try to let go of comments from those who haven’t invested in them as a person.
Discouragement can also be a result of having the wrong expectation. To sidestep this type of discouragement you have to allow your experiences to guide you in adjusting your expectations. Perhaps you thought you’d reach your goal faster or you assumed you wouldn’t run into this or that problem. The distance between what you hoped might happen, the ideal, and what actually happened, the real, can seem as wide as the Grand Canyon. Instead of being discouraged and quitting, each effort can become an education on your own expectations. You learn some things aren’t as difficult as you thought and somethings are waaayyy more difficult than you thought and you adjust your expectations accordingly.
Once you replace the word failure with the word education, carrying on becomes much more natural. Look at a child learning to walk or a child learning a new skill like spelling or math. You wouldn’t refer to a fall or a misspelled word as a failure, you would describe it as part of the process.
Meg Johnson had to adjust her expectations after an accident left her as a quadriplegic. She said, “I had a decision to make. I could spend decades wanting my old life back, life before the accident, or I could get busy building my new life.”