It’s time to lighten up. Author, Connie Sokol, shares tips on how to lose emotional weight and gain new energy!
Women daily deal with emotional burdens that can bring us low and drain our mojo. Try losing one of these behaviors for an instant energy gain.
FeelingLess Than. Too often women waste energy comparing themselves to the next gal—how clean her home is, how successful her children are, how skinny she is two weeks after having a baby. But when we stop comparing we experience more life contentment. Years ago we moved into a home up in the woods, away from suburbia and the fishbowl. Finally, we had a place our noisy children could play and run free. Though the land was gorgeous the house was average, but that was not our focus. Then an acquaintance stopped by “to see the new house.” From her comments and expressions she made it clear that this house was not what she imagined for me and what we had come from. I felt “less than.” But a wonderful thing happened, and hopefully will help you too. I went back to what I knew. Which was, we bought the house to help our family be happier, not to impress her or any other acquaintance, neighbor, or would-be visitor. When I focused on that truth, I felt the contentment return.
Forgive. Anger and resentment—even when justified—suppress our natural joy and motivation to live, love and do. So in the end, we rob ourselves, because we’re carrying a heavy load that becomes an obstacle to our joy. But forgiving isn’t about being unwise. If someone has done something horrible to you and obviously has not changed, you don’t go asking for trouble. But you can give the gift of a Clean Slate for the past, a Get Out of Emotional Jail Free card. Recently I sat in a particular meeting when the thought hit me that I hadn’t forgiven someone. I thought I definitely had but as I examined my behaviors, I could see I was holding it over that person—not consciously, but emotionally, by not fully letting it go. That night I decided to give the gift of a Clean Slate. And, I started a gratitude journal just for that person and focused on changing my responses the very next day. I could not believe the immediate and positive change in both of us, without either saying a word.
Find your unique self and share it. Too often women lose a sense of self then become resentful that their family only sees them as the errand do-er or the go-to-gal. If you want to do something enjoyable or expresses yourself but don’t know how, if it’s okay, don’t have energy, or don’t know what to do, start with who you are and what you love. I began writing fiction on the side, hideous stories devoid of proper grammar or solid plot lines. But as I aged and wrote, they improved. Finally, I wrote and published my first real work, a clean romance titled Caribbean Crossroads. Surprising to me, it was nominated for a writing award and on a promotional week hit #1 on one of Amazon’s Bestseller lists. Who knew? So whether it’s knitting beanies for babies or sharing recipes with tofu, do something that uniquely shares your wonderful self, without fear of failure, or embarrassment for trying.
Connie Sokol is a mother of seven, national presenter, former TV and radio host, and author of several books, including Faithful, Fit & Fabulous and Motherhood Matters For tips, columns, products and podcasts, visit www.8basics.com.